ok. wow. NSFW. unless you work at our office. but. wha???

July 12, 2009

alright dudes.

so at first i was like, “oh, it’s some kid trying to fuck an ottoman. haha, whatevs.” … but then the next kid came in. and the next one. and then all of a sudden there are like four sexually-charged male teenagers in a room humping the air, the wall, etc not further than two feet of one another.

i’m just really, really confused.

i guess they are advertising their sexual prowess?? but isn’t it overtly homoerotic? are there seriously teenage girls who are turned on and/or impressed by this? is this something “kids do these days”?

i feel ill. i have to go now.

Filed Under BLOG, Hot Dogs · 1 Comment

Total Eclipse Of The Heart: Literal Version … so good.

July 2, 2009

And they shouldn’t fence at night, or they’re going to hurt the gymnasts.

Filed Under BLOG, DIM MAK, Hot Dogs, Intervention, youtube · Leave a Comment

A WASTE OF TIME (SOME BULLSHIT INTERVIEW WITH ALL LEATHER)

February 9, 2009

Pretty Blue: Role Call. Your name, sign, and what your role in the band is?

Jp: Awe, the arbitrary question. You would think with the World Wide Web, one would know this information. The musicians are as follows: Nathan (guitar/ aries), Jung (drums/ libra), and myself (vocals/ leo)

Pretty Blue: Does one of you write all the songs or do you all belt it out together? Also how often do you practice?

JP: we all write the music. The band is littered with constructive criticism along with ideas and inspiration. Our rehearsal schedule is at least 3 days a week. However, we have obstacles at times with some of our other bands, as well as Jung’s geographical location, being that he is from another country.

Pretty Blue: Do you prefer playing Clubs or small venues and house parties?

JP: Well we have only played three shows so far. All were small clubs. But the obstacle that we seem to have already faced is the fact that we have electronic drums, so we need a pa and monitors to actually pull off a live set. So some settings, such as a house show, might be hard to execute.

Pretty Blue: Which one of you is most likely to wear the alligators leather gear on stage?

JP: Honestly, none of us. I think we would wear the quintessential leather daddy attire before alligator leather given the fact that we all live below the poverty line and it’s rare to stumble upon alligator at a goodwill. It seems like you are going for the zany guy questions. What would prompt one to ask us who would wear alligator on stage? On a side note, I ate alligator when I was younger.

Pretty Blue: What do you think contains more faggotry: Bears like Nayland Blake or Basket Ball stars like Dennis Rodman

JP: Are you educated enough to ask us about faggorty?

Pretty Blue: How is Mexico this time of year for you guys? I hear shit is pretty crazy there right now.Is the show on February 20th on as planned?

JP: we are not sure what you hear that is so crazy about all of Mexico. Yes, the show on the 20th is still happening. Feel free to elaborate with specifics if you want to pertain to the country of Mexico.

Pretty Blue: Your Myspace page has the line “Dear Mother Nature, Drop Dead.” Could you please explain what you mean by this in a little more detail? I have read several interpretations in various philosophical journals that you are being purposefully vague in order to hide that you do not know what you are talking about. I don’t feel this is the case, so I am giving you a chance here to explain yourself further.

JP: well that heading on our profile changes from time to time. It’s a title to a song that we wrote for our LP. But let me state this, I have serious doubt that “several interpretations in various philosophical journals” think we are being “purposefully vague” let alone have any philosophical or even basic thoughts towards our band. And to sum up who and what we are about by one sentence seems pretty cheap. If you care to site your sources, we can tackle them at that point. But to throw some dog shit question like this at us seems like poor journalism on your part. I mean, is this an interview? And if so, it seems to be n interview directed to someone along lines of the sea of crummy bands on myspace. Maybe you could direct a list of questions like this to another band. Look at the world we live in. there is plenty to talk about that would interest a reader. Anything from something as well talked about as the economy and the effects it has on musicians or artists in general. Or we could talk about recording techniques. Hell, we cold even talk about influences, as we seem to draw from an array of things, not only musical. But here, ill get to the point, and explain that quote for you to serve the purpose of the interview and not come off as a complete dick head here. The song title, as well as the quote that is in question here, is in fact vague, so one could apply it to numerous things in the world that we live in. but as an artist, I feel its not my job to spell out everything, or anything at all out, to you or anyone really. I mean, to state the obvious leaves me with a specific taste in my mouth, sort of along the lines of a band like say, earth crisis. So ill leave you with the lyrics and you can make your own intellectual interpretation of this song and its title…

DEAR MOTHER NATURE, DROP DEAD
I got a dusty answer when I got home with the bad milk and entered on the ground floor. My ass was in a sling and my diaper was soak n’ wet, and I had a broken tail. But I still stood on my hind legs while everyone stood there on all four feet. And while they were trying to learn the length of their big feet I slipped on a double chin right on its loose skin but hung out by the nose and heard your moms left deaf ear tear her panty hose. Huh? I can’t hear you! Everyone got perms
and all I got was a flying fuck and I didn’t really care. Lick those big feet with the rough side of that tongue and watch out for the backbite.

So feel free to intellectually apply the lyrics to whatever you want. If you would like for me to spell it out, I can do that. Just let me know what exactly you are inquiring about here. I can deliver the nutshell definition if needed.

Pretty Blue: Is it harder to date men or women?

JP: Id have to say that both are difficult. Then again, it’s probably difficult to date me, regardless of gender. For me, I relate most to my dog. Id love to meet a human that is like her.

Jung: both are hard, I think.

Pretty Blue: If you were to use your entire second stimulus check on a date with anyone, where would you take them? What would you do with them?

JP: I didn’t get that check, nor did Jung, as he is not a US citizen.
Nathan: no comment.

Pretty Blue: Have you found that your band has been selling less buttons lately? If so do you attribute this to the economic problems our country is going through right now? I thought perhaps this might be the case because of your band’s decision to jump on the recent bandwagon of four on the floor dance music in an attempt to make up the lost revenue. I also see that Dim Mak is releasing your “Hung Like a Horse.” E.P. Does that mean you get to party with Steve Aoki?

JP: are you kidding me? What kind of bullshit question is this? What a waste of time this is going to be (the following answer to this “question” is time that ill never get back in my life): we don’t sell buttons. I own a button maker and the thought of buttons for all leather never crossed my mind. As far as the economy and its issues that we are all facing, well it goes way deeper than some garbage question about button sales. Now onto your next asshole comment… I’m not sure what bandwagon you think we jumped on. First off, to an uneducated person pertaining to music, we don’t play four on the floor type music. Is it that the tunes are catchy? I mean, are riff that are in 10/8 or 5/4 something that you can comprehend? Or is it the fact that you have only heard two songs on our myspace profile? As far as making up lost revenue, well to be honest, to play music with say, dignity, integrity, originality, you don’t really make a whole lot of revenue. I mean, take the fact that I work 6 nights a week, and after covering my bills and stuff, I throw money into playing music as well as running a record label by fellow comrades, some whom you might consider being on that band wagon you mentioned here. With that being said, there is not a whole lot of revenue for bands like that. Now onto the last part of this dumb question, I’m sure we will hang out with Steve. Party? I’m not much of a partier. Id rather just observe. But with Steve, him and I go way back. The locust played in his living room at the infamous pickle patch almost a decade ago and we have been friends ever since. So go ahead and assume what you want with all parties pertaining to your question. Good luck buddy, you are going to need it.

Jung: What are you talking about, “crisis”? I work five days a week, full time, for $50 a week. I don’t have time to party with Steve Aoki, I have to take a bus to San Diego to rehearse. I don’t have a car, I don’t have money, and I don’t ask stupid questions. I have to decide if I eat or if I pay for a bus to rehearse. And seriously, I rehearse a lot. Do you know what I mean?! So stop talking about crisis.And who the fuck is Steve Aoki?

Nathan: Steve and I eat pizza.

Pretty Blue: If you each had a special dance move what would it be and why?

Jung: the Chewbacca special, or a variation of Nathan’s move, the bonk, which is the Chewbacca bonk. I don’t eat well, so I dance fucked up.

Nathan: the bonk, because I love coke.

JP: I don’t dance.

Pretty Blue: How did you convince MSTRKRFT, OTTO VON SCHIRACH, and VICE COOLER to remix your songs. Did you have to pay them a truck load of money?

JP: we didn’t have to do any convincing. And there was no money paid for the remixes. Again, tying this back to the economic question you threw at us earlier.

Pretty Blue: If the three of you could all possibly be the father of a child, but the DNA machine was indefinitely broken, which one of you do you as a group feel would be the best father for that sweet child?

Jung: not me, I don’t have any money.

Nathan: JP

JP: I’m already a father.

Pretty Blue: Tin Cagayat Music is amazing. I hope you guys think so to! I heard a rumor that she left your band to drum in Ida Corr’s live band. Is this true?

JP: we think that tin and her music is cool. We obviously like to and what she does as she was in our band and recorded the ep with us. As far as this rumor, there is no truth to this. However, I heard that Ida has the same drummer as the Crocodiles.

Pretty Blue: Do you also have a sneaking suspicion that Chewbacca represented a Jesus like character in the Star Wars saga?

JP: no, I think he was above and beyond J.C.

Nathan: who is Chewbacca?

Jung: I was born after star wars came out.

Pretty Blue: How many of you have accidentally gotten someone pregnant on accident?

JP: one of us, not me.

Pretty Blue: Is All Leathers planning on coming up to play the Bay Area soon? If so do you plan on going to Studs leather daddy bar in San Francisco after the show. I highly advise it.

JP: been there, not that impressive.

Pretty Blue: I apologize for bringing up the Locust but I have to know. Does all of All Leathers eat at Pokez like the Locust does?

JP: Nate and I eat there often.
Jung: I don’t have the money to eat out.

Thanks Again! Much Love!

Jung: Thank you, please buy our record.
JP: yeah, great interview.
Nathan: Besos en el chiquitn.

[IMG]http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s21/locustfiles/JP/ALeatherRLaananen4793HR.jpg[/IMG]

www.myspace.com/allleather

Filed Under Hot Dogs, MSTRKRFT, fuck you, steve, steve aoki · Leave a Comment

A WASTE OF TIME (SOME BULLSHIT INTERVIEW WITH ALL LEATHER)

February 9, 2009

Pretty Blue: Role Call. Your name, sign, and what your role in the band is? Jp: Awe, the arbitrary question. You would think with the World Wide Web, one would know this information. The musicians are as follows: Nathan (guitar/ aries), Jung (drums/ libra), and myself (vocals/ leo) Pretty Blue: Does one of you write all the songs or do you all belt it out together? Also how often do you practice? JP: we all write the music. The band is littered with constructive criticism along with ideas and inspiration. Our rehearsal schedule is at least 3 days a week. However, we have obstacles at times with some of our other bands, as well as Jung’s geographical location, being that he is from another country. Pretty Blue: Do you prefer playing Clubs or small venues and house parties? JP: Well we have only played three shows so far. All were small clubs. But the obstacle that we seem to have already faced is the fact that we have electronic drums, so we need a pa and monitors to actually pull off a live set. So some settings, such as a house show, might be hard to execute. Pretty Blue: Which one of you is most likely to wear the alligators leather gear on stage? JP: Honestly, none of us. I think we would wear the quintessential leather daddy attire before alligator leather given the fact that we all live below the poverty line and it’s rare to stumble upon alligator at a goodwill. It seems like you are going for the zany guy questions. What would prompt one to ask us who would wear alligator on stage? On a side note, I ate alligator when I was younger. Pretty Blue: What do you think contains more faggotry: Bears like Nayland Blake or Basket Ball stars like Dennis Rodman JP: Are you educated enough to ask us about faggorty? Pretty Blue: How is Mexico this time of year for you guys? I hear shit is pretty crazy there right now. Is the show on February 20th on as planned? JP: we are not sure what you hear that is so crazy about all of Mexico. Yes, the show on the 20th is still happening. Feel free to elaborate with specifics if you want to pertain to the country of Mexico. Pretty Blue: Your Myspace page has the line “Dear Mother Nature, Drop Dead.” Could you please explain what you mean by this in a little more detail? I have read several interpretations in various philosophical journals that you are being purposefully vague in order to hide that you do not know what you are talking about. I don’t feel this is the case, so I am giving you a chance here to explain yourself further. JP: well that heading on our profile changes from time to time. It’s a title to a song that we wrote for our LP. But let me state this, I have serious doubt that “several interpretations in various philosophical journals” think we are being “purposefully vague” let alone have any philosophical or even basic thoughts towards our band. And to sum up who and what we are about by one sentence seems pretty cheap. If you care to site your sources, we can tackle them at that point. But to throw some dog shit question like this at us seems like poor journalism on your part. I mean, is this an interview? And if so, it seems to be n interview directed to someone along lines of the sea of crummy bands on myspace. Maybe you could direct a list of questions like this to another band. Look at the world we live in. there is plenty to talk about that would interest a reader. Anything from something as well talked about as the economy and the effects it has on musicians or artists in general. Or we could talk about recording techniques. Hell, we cold even talk about influences, as we seem to draw from an array of things, not only musical. But here, ill get to the point, and explain that quote for you to serve the purpose of the interview and not come off as a complete dick head here. The song title, as well as the quote that is in question here, is in fact vague, so one could apply it to numerous things in the world that we live in. but as an artist, I feel its not my job to spell out everything, or anything at all out, to you or anyone really. I mean, to state the obvious leaves me with a specific taste in my mouth, sort of along the lines of a band like say, earth crisis. So ill leave you with the lyrics and you can make your own intellectual interpretation of this song and its title… DEAR MOTHER NATURE, DROP DEAD I got a dusty answer when I got home with the bad milk and entered on the ground floor. My ass was in a sling and my diaper was soak n’ wet, and I had a broken tail. But I still stood on my hind legs while everyone stood there on all four feet. And while they were trying to learn the length of their big feet I slipped on a double chin right on its loose skin but hung out by the nose and heard your moms left deaf ear tear her panty hose. Huh? I can’t hear you! Everyone got perms and all I got was a flying fuck and I didn’t really care. Lick those big feet with the rough side of that tongue and watch out for the backbite. So feel free to intellectually apply the lyrics to whatever you want. If you would like for me to spell it out, I can do that. Just let me know what exactly you are inquiring about here. I can deliver the nutshell definition if needed. Pretty Blue: Is it harder to date men or women? JP: Id have to say that both are difficult. Then again, it’s probably difficult to date me, regardless of gender. For me, I relate most to my dog. Id love to meet a human that is like her. Jung: both are hard, I think. Pretty Blue: If you were to use your entire second stimulus check on a date with anyone, where would you take them? What would you do with them? JP: I didn’t get that check, nor did Jung, as he is not a US citizen. Nathan: no comment. Pretty Blue: Have you found that your band has been selling less buttons lately? If so do you attribute this to the economic problems our country is going through right now? I thought perhaps this might be the case because of your band’s decision to jump on the recent bandwagon of four on the floor dance music in an attempt to make up the lost revenue. I also see that Dim Mak is releasing your “Hung Like a Horse.” E.P. Does that mean you get to party with Steve Aoki? JP: are you kidding me? What kind of bullshit question is this? What a waste of time this is going to be (the following answer to this “question” is time that ill never get back in my life): we don’t sell buttons. I own a button maker and the thought of buttons for all leather never crossed my mind. As far as the economy and its issues that we are all facing, well it goes way deeper than some garbage question about button sales. Now onto your next asshole comment… I’m not sure what bandwagon you think we jumped on. First off, to an uneducated person pertaining to music, we don’t play four on the floor type music. Is it that the tunes are catchy? I mean, are riff that are in 10/8 or 5/4 something that you can comprehend? Or is it the fact that you have only heard two songs on our myspace profile? As far as making up lost revenue, well to be honest, to play music with say, dignity, integrity, originality, you don’t really make a whole lot of revenue. I mean, take the fact that I work 6 nights a week, and after covering my bills and stuff, I throw money into playing music as well as running a record label by fellow comrades, some whom you might consider being on that band wagon you mentioned here. With that being said, there is not a whole lot of revenue for bands like that. Now onto the last part of this dumb question, I’m sure we will hang out with Steve. Party? I’m not much of a partier. Id rather just observe. But with Steve, him and I go way back. The locust played in his living room at the infamous pickle patch almost a decade ago and we have been friends ever since. So go ahead and assume what you want with all parties pertaining to your question. Good luck buddy, you are going to need it. Jung: What are you talking about, “crisis”? I work five days a week, full time, for $50 a week. I don’t have time to party with Steve Aoki, I have to take a bus to San Diego to rehearse. I don’t have a car, I don’t have money, and I don’t ask stupid questions. I have to decide if I eat or if I pay for a bus to rehearse. And seriously, I rehearse a lot. Do you know what I mean?! So stop talking about crisis. And who the fuck is Steve Aoki? Nathan: Steve and I eat pizza. Pretty Blue: If you each had a special dance move what would it be and why? Jung: the Chewbacca special, or a variation of Nathan’s move, the bonk, which is the Chewbacca bonk. I don’t eat well, so I dance fucked up. Nathan: the bonk, because I love coke. JP: I don’t dance. Pretty Blue: How did you convince MSTRKRFT, OTTO VON SCHIRACH, and VICE COOLER to remix your songs. Did you have to pay them a truck load of money? JP: we didn’t have to do any convincing. And there was no money paid for the remixes. Again, tying this back to the economic question you threw at us earlier. Pretty Blue: If the three of you could all possibly be the father of a child, but the DNA machine was indefinitely broken, which one of you do you as a group feel would be the best father for that sweet child? Jung: not me, I don’t have any money. Nathan: JP JP: I’m already a father. Pretty Blue: Tin Cagayat Music is amazing. I hope you guys think so to! I heard a rumor that she left your band to drum in Ida Corr’s live band. Is this true? JP: we think that tin and her music is cool. We obviously like to and what she does as she was in our band and recorded the ep with us. As far as this rumor, there is no truth to this. However, I heard that Ida has the same drummer as the Crocodiles. Pretty Blue: Do you also have a sneaking suspicion that Chewbacca represented a Jesus like character in the Star Wars saga? JP: no, I think he was above and beyond J.C. Nathan: who is Chewbacca? Jung: I was born after star wars came out. Pretty Blue: How many of you have accidentally gotten someone pregnant on accident? JP: one of us, not me. Pretty Blue: Is All Leathers planning on coming up to play the Bay Area soon? If so do you plan on going to Studs leather daddy bar in San Francisco after the show. I highly advise it. JP: been there, not that impressive. Pretty Blue: I apologize for bringing up the Locust but I have to know. Does all of All Leathers eat at Pokez like the Locust does? JP: Nate and I eat there often. Jung: I don’t have the money to eat out. Thanks Again! Much Love! Jung: Thank you, please buy our record. JP: yeah, great interview. Nathan: Besos en el chiquitn. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=419399104 <center> <img src=”http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s21/locustfiles/JP/ALeatherRLaananen4793HR.jpg”> </center>

Filed Under Hot Dogs, MSTRKRFT, fuck you, steve, steve aoki · Leave a Comment

Chicago snacking, done right.

August 25, 2008

When I’m not getting a mani/pedi, putting an aspirin mask on my face, or braiding my hair like Lauren Conrad from that show, “The Hills,” I am eating at Hot Dougs. I’ve been to other cities, and let me say that when it comes to food, Chicago always comes correct. Anyway, this spot has special and crazy hot dog concoctions, fries fried in duck fat (only on the weekends)..oh, and they’re located across the street from Midway Entertainment, the video game company that makes Mortal Kombat. Peace and enjoy!

Filed Under Chicago, Hot Dogs, Hot Dougs, Snacks · 2 Comments